My Little Writer

B has started leaving little notes all over the house for me. Absolutely heartwarming and adorable. I was brought to tears on her 6th birthday when ahe came downstairs and gave me a thank you note for making her the Brave birthday cake she wanted. I held her and cried like a baby, while squeezing my baby.

Today we celebrated Avery's baptism with family pictures and breakfast. B left me this note by the bathroom door. 

She couldn't wait to see Afre. It is so nice to see the girls feel such a close bond already with their cousin. And, to see your own baby crossing the bridge from toddler to child is monumentous.

I'll be your best friend, mommy

It was a rough day, the kind of day that makes your shoulders hurt. All I wanted was hugs from my girls. After much of the normal welcome home fanfare Nonnie came upstairs with me. As I changed she told me about school, and it evolved into me telling her about how a mean person made me feel bad. She game me a monster hug that knocked me down to the ground and we laid there as she rubbed my back. She usesthis slightly   funny voice when she is being the "adult". It is comforting and silly all at the same time. She told me shed Keats be my best friend *sniffle* and that she will send me a text or an email to tell me she loves me. She'll always be home when I get thee and she'll hug me. Sweetest thing anyone could've ever said and so what I dream of for our future. She wanted me to call my boss right away and tell him I needed a day off to stay home with my kids...hmm, now I see where this is going! 

The love of your own child

Nonnie made my heart skip a beat tonight. As I was getting her ready for bed she apoplgized and said, " Im sorry I am not always good." I had been struggling all weekend with back pain, and a grocery excursion was less than joyful. But apologies from the four-year- old hurt me. It makes me feel like I should have more patience with her, not lose my temper and help her instead make good choices. But I am realistic, too, and at the core grateful that she does see the error in her own ways. B apologizes only when she's hurt someone accidentally. N doesn't hold back. She's thoughtful and compassionate in a different way. As I finished twinkle twinkle (which I've been told will always be her song, so stop asking) she thanked me, for being so careful that she doesn't eat peanuts. Random and out of the blue, but so perfectly Natalie. 

Our Dream Vacation

The vacation Dave and I have dreamt about since first getting pregnant finally became reality. Even as I write this I find it hard to believe we were able to pull it all off. I'm suffering from post-vacation-let-down, and longing for the year to fly by so we can re-live the joy. We decided to surprise the girls and planned a week-long trip to Disney World Dave and I had spent so much time wishing and wanting to be able to "do it up" and stay on a Disney property and go to all of the parks. With a few changes in our jobs, we were able to make it happen a little sooner than anticipated.

The first decision was to drive to Florida, a seemingly ridiculous decision, but supported by friends and acquaintances that swore it was possible. We prepped the kiddos for a very long drive, over night, to a mysterious beach. When departure day finally arrived we told them we had a surprise treasure hunt for them. This was so fun, and Bailey really enjoyed it. Natalie was a little confused by the whole thing, and a little disappointed that we weren't actually going to a beach. The pool at the hotel placated her, thank goodness. Almost immediately after we jumped into the car and began our trek. The drive went surprisingly well with a little discomfort easily healed by ibuprophen. Dave and I took turns on and off, with him doing the bulk of the driving. All in all, it was smooth sailing and a "quick" 18 hour drive to Orlando.

Our first afternoon we were in a mouse-induced bliss. The girls were downright giddy unpacking their things into our teeny hotel room. This was our first hotel sleepover as a family of four, and it was perfect. Their favorite part of the whole thing was how the housekeepers would arrange their beds differently each day while we were at the parks. We had lunch at the cafeteria and a dip in the pool, and then all crashed for a few hours in our chilly little room. Awake and refreshed, we took the bus to Downtown Disney and shopped. Though Bibbity-Bobbity-Boutique was calling to them, the girls were satisfied with princess purses, gloves, a tiara and amulet. They were sprinkled with "pixie dust" and ran around the store. They treasured these items throughout the week and I was so thrilled to be able to buy them such meaningful trinkets!

On Monday we did the grand tour of Magic Kingdom. Arriving at the park's opening, we went right to the back to Fantasy Land. This area has been updated since we were here two years ago, and it is beyond impressive. All of the details are spot-on, and there are more princess-y  experiences than ever before. A few fan favorites were the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train and the Story time with Belle. These were especially memorable. Belle's castle for lunch wasn't quite the hit I was hoping for. It is beautiful inside, but since there are no characters it lacks the magic of the other locales. With all of the attractions in this section, we only made it to Tomorrow Land briefly.

The girls met Tinker Bell, Rapunzel, Cinderella, Belle, and Aurora and Ariel throughout the day. Tinker Bell was fantastic and on-point with her characterization. I think my face hurt from smiling so hard. Though these meet-and-greets take a tremendous amount of time, they just loved it. Bailey remarked several times that Belle "knows us" now because we saw her so many times.

The Electrical Parade did not disappoint at the end of the day. With a significant storm brewing, we decided to wait for our next visit for fireworks.

On Tuesday we planned to go to Epcot. The team was tired, so we let the girls sleep a bit and took a quick swim before heading out for the day. I had such great memories of Epcot, and couldn't wait to see it again. We started the day by meeting Mulan and a shopping trip in China. The girls have loved making fans, and they each carefully picked a favorite.

We did the different worlds (Earth, space, sea). Their favorite part was the splash area. The heat was so intense, they loved getting soaked and played in it for over an hour. They also loved meeting Minnie. Goofy and Mickey were tolerated for the joy of hugging Minnie, it was so sweet. They started to question why these characters didn't talk and the princesses did...My favorite part was wandering through the different countries. In Norway we had lunch with all of the princesses in a castle. The girls got to meet each and make a princess processional through the dining room. They loved every minute of it. Norway had an interesting log ride through the fjord with some seriously scary trolls. The girls just figured these trolls were grouchy (remembering the very happy trolls in Frozen).

We had dinner in Japan, dessert in France and watched the beautiful light show from Canada. The girls really enjoyed the show and were oozing with details as they told their grandmother all they had seen.

On Wednesday we went to Animal Kingdom. I wasn't sure what to expect here, but it was hot, stifling hot and there didn't seem to be much reprieve. The big beautiful tree was under renovation, and it was a little disappointing. With the exception of one ride, the animals are mostly hidden from view. The high-point of the day for the kids was an ice cream treat and a trip to the climbing/digging area called the Bone Yard. With a jungle gym for the kids to explore and a huge pit of sand-like beads, the kids could have played for hours. They were so amused by it.

Dave and I took turns riding Everest. This roller coaster was absolutely terrifying!! With a Yeti threatening you, you never know if you are going forward or backwards. We had a fantastic lunch at Yak & Yeti. The food was fantastic and soooo air conditioned. There were a few great shows at Animal Kingdom; the Lion King tribute and the Finding Nemo show were noteworthy. The River Rapids was a joy for our family. Natalie and Bailey braved a significant drop and aggressive sprays, it was hysterical to watch! Overall, a nice day as a family but a skip next time.

Thursday we were up and at it with breakfast at Hollywood Studios. One request we had from Natalie was to meet Sophia and Jake, luckily for us they were in the same place! We had breakfast with Jake, Handy Manny, Sophia and Doc McStuffins. The food was great and they characters were fun and interactive.

We visited Hollywood two years ago, and probably would wait a few years before going back. The Frozen Sing-Along was a highlight for the day. The girls and I loved it. The Belle show was nice, and the girls enjoyed the Interactive Disney Junior show. By Thursday evening we were all pretty tired, and an early night by the pool was needed.

All week Dave and I looked forward to getting back to MagicKingdom. We knew there were many rides we has missed the first time around and we looked forward to exploring the reat of the park. We kicked off our morning at Adventureland and the Pirates of the Caribbean. The girls handled the terifying pirates pretty well and seemed unfazed by the sharp drop in the dark water. We enjoyed the Magic Carpets and picked out a great big spider for Mimi.

The trip ended as it began, we spent our last day at Downtown Disney buying Mickey paraphernalia to our hearts' content. The drive home was long, but the girlies were so tired that they slept well, dreaming of their return to Disney World, no doubt.

Tiny dancers

One of the most wonderful parts of being a mother of girls is taking them to dance class. I have dreamt about that since my children were born, and even before, when I saw those little squiggles on the camera in my belly. It is one of the many joys of being a mom. Watching them swirl around in tutus, wearing beautiful costumes, and most of all, watching their smiling faces. It's not the music or the movement, necessarily, it is the unabashed joy you feel-like you don't care if anyone is watching, and the thrill that they are. You remember as a dancer what it felt like to move as a synchronized group. I remember that feeling well, and moving to the beautiful music together, I can see that my children feeling as well. Babies begin dancing almost immediately, and you know that you know that it is destined to continue throughout their life. I love that sense of connection with music and beauty.
So it was today, as the mom of two little ones, dressed as princesses and fairies, that I have that joy again. I got to watch them at dance camp "performing" to the music from the movie Frozen. Just joy on their faces. They were nervous, of course. At the end they asked the teacher if they could do one of the silly songs that they loved, the kind of toddler tune that is about fruit. They had no fear or embarrassment with all the cameras, just smiles.
 And after it's over, it is a little bit of a letdown. They don't know quite what to say, they don't want it to be over. The questions of this generation begin. What will you do with that? Will you do this again? Do you want to dance here? What kind of dance? How much? How often? Our poor children. They don't just get to that do casual dance or activity anymore, now it is a week of gymnastics every day with pressure to excel and compete. It's a struggle to maintain a balance- all of the children of this generation will all be in the Olympics, they will all be in the Broadway stage, they will all be successful. How do you let them have fun? How do you relax and just enjoy the dance?

Teeny Accomplishments are so Telling

Natalie was an independent pumper for the first time today. Small, incidental step in her rampaging growth away from toddler-hood into childhood, yes, but in watching her do it I felt like I saw so many layers of who she is and will become.

Nonnie has loved to swing since the day she came home from the hospital. I used to put her in the infant swing and try to sleep in 30 minute increments, get up when she yelped in protest of it slowing down, and start it over again. At the park she wouldn't want to do anything but be pushed in the baby swing. It was tricky when B would want to slide or climb but N would scream if I stopped pushing her. I remember clearly running to get two side-by-side swings so I could push both at the same time.

Now Nonnie is 4, and she loves to be pushed on her baby swing in the backyard. We have two child-sized swings, but she has fervently hung onto the infant swing. Last night she was running full steam across the yard and "flying" like a bird on the swing. Today, she asked to be pushed on the big kid swing. Before we realized it, she was actually pumping on her own. This shouldn't have shocked me, but it did. I've been trying to get her to pump for well over a year-pushing is boring! But she did it, she did. She got going so high she shouted, "thanks for the push mom, I think I can see Africa! Actually, that might be China!" Bailey tried to explain immediately how that is way too far, but she thinks she can se Disney World...hmm.

Natalie still shed some tears when I took down the baby swing, almost  aware that it was the end of an era. Her face as I made dinner, watching her from the window, was awe- inspiring. Pride, joy, and wonder all wrapped up in a purple multi-colored swim suit. I gave her few thumbs-up from the window, just to let her know how cool she really was. It was one of her "best days ever." Sure there are quite a few of those, but I think its more a sign of her fabulous childhood and her grateful, happy soul than overuse or cliche. 

She was on that swing for a long time, all by herself, and perfectly pleased with it.

Accomplishing

When I reflect on what it means to accomplish something substantial, and how I feel about things like diplomas, I tend to downplay them. Anyone can do it, the work was a drag but not daunting, the time invested was manageable, etc. It is a rare day when I stop and leg the weight sink in. This degree, my CAS, does  mean something to me. It has meaning because now I have the ability to shift career paths, and it has meaning because I can share it with my children. Tonight I sat on the front lawn with Natalie, watching the sunset, and (trying) talking about why. Why did I do this degree?? So my girls could choose which college attend, so I could show them the world, so life would be easier for them than for most. The cost is great-loans, time, my attention and patience-but hopefully the payoff will be worth
it someday.

What do you want to be?

It occurred to me early in the school year that I was choosing to transition out of the classroom for many reasons. The ability to pay for the girlies college being primary, but also wanting to feel that I had reached my fullest professional potential. Bailey made a comment before I even started school in September that stopped me on my tracks. Before falling asleep she will often lean over the bed rail and try to engage in conversation, "momma, what does it feel like to be a principal?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. All the female dentists, doctors, and teachers I had purposely surrounded her with suddenly pailed. It was the thought that I could be the example of a female leader that my daughters would see that brought me to my knees. I have spent so much time studying female leaders and what engages I women and girls, but had missed it in my own home.

I took the munchkins, out of necessity, to the dentist with me tonight. While we waited in the exam room I asked Bailey if she'd like to be a dentist when she grows up. Nah, she answered. An architect, nah, a teacher? No, then yes, a teacher. Then she changed her mind and said, "I want to be what you are." I thought she meant an assistant principal, or a tiny principal as she shared with a friend's mom. Nope, she said, "I want to be the one who tells the teachers what to teach, like you!" The best was she took it further and told me she'd be better than me and take my job, complete with evil laughter. Amazing dream come true.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It goes without saying that kids absolutely love Christmas.  Being the parent of young children at Christmas time, however, is not so openly praised. What a blast! You forget how fun it is to believe in Santa. That little elf on the shelf is down right creepy. When he first " arrived " this year Bailey was very aware of him and his back story. Natalie marched right over to him and said, "Nope, him pretend. " After we all shrieked at her (in unison) not to touch him, and she started balling, we told her how he has limited magic to go back to Santa every night and that he has to sit quietly untouched and observe us. That seems incredibly odd and scary as I write this, but all craziness and irrationality suddenly become logical at Christmas time...think massive amounts of baking and spending tremendous amounts of money on gift cards (aka cash swap). The fun part for the girls was the game of hide 

-and-seek for elf every morning.

Bailey went to bed each night making some sort of remark about how she couldn't wait to find him in the morning. We are improving, by necessity of course, and we only forgot to relocate the little dude once this year. Not too shabby. 

Santa was a little on the cheap side this year. The girls still don't really have the stamina to open many gifts, and they don't have the paper ripping skills and speed me and Jared had perfected. They got an air hockey table and a few bean bag chairs. The stuffed owls they got were a big hit, and Bailey has loved all the crafting kits. So much fun for me; the glitter stickers and snow globe kits were a freakin hoot. 

All in all, it was fantastic. Their enthusiasm and joy were unmatched. With the beautiful snow, warm fires and friends and family around, it was my most favorite Christmas ever.